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Friends to Lovers vs. Enemies to Lovers

  • Writer: Vritti C
    Vritti C
  • Dec 21, 2021
  • 5 min read

Updated: Jan 3, 2022

Recommendations as well! Which is your favorite? Comparing both tropes side-by-side.



Recommendations for each trope at the end! But other than that... all righttttt let's get started.


If you've been on Booktok, Booktube, Bookstagram.... or really any other book community, you've probably heard of tropes. Essentially, tropes are a kind of plot device that can be found throughout different books in a genre. (Depends on what your definition of genre is)


Let's get started with a breakdown of the two:


Enemies to lovers:

Basically when two characters start off as enemies (even better when they've sworn to kill each other <insert evil grinning emoji here>) but then the tension between them is just so crazy that they simply can't keep up with being enemies anymore. The entire world is against them, but they have no idea how to tell each other about their feelings because of (I'm going to say it) their gigantic egos (most of the time but not always!). Insert a couple dagger-to-throat scenes and intense banter and viola they're lovers!


Now, one thing that I don't like is when a book says enemies-to-lovers but it turns out that they just kinda don't like each other. NO I NEED THEM TO HATE EACH OTHER. I want them to actually loathe the other person until they just can't get over their sizzling chemistry and the feelings that they have.


Sub-tropes for enemies-to-lovers:


Strangers-to-enemies-to-lovers ⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars: This is by far the most popular one. Basically, the characters start off not knowing each other, but they get off on the wrong foot after their first meeting. I feel like it is easy to construct and carry throughout which is why it kind of lacks depth at times. I just feel like some kind of backstory between the characters and knowing why they are enemies even if they haven't met each other is just so powerful (Romeo and Juliet vibes). That being said, there are a few strangers-to-lovers that I love, with my favorite one being from Throne of Glass. (I won't say which couple, though, because that's kind of a spoiler but if you've read the series then I'm talking about the main couple!)


Rivals-to-lovers ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars: This trope is definitely more prevalent in a more contemporary romance type of novel. The two characters hate each other because they are competing for the same prize. (Could be in a work setting or an academic setting) My favorite example of this would definitely be Today, Tonight, Tomorrow by Rachel Lynn Solomon. I love how the book shows us the transition from rivals to lovers in the span of ONE day without it feeling rushed. It's a cute trope, but it is hard to drag it out. Most of the books that I have read with this trope are standalones.


Our-families-are-enemies-so-I-have-to-hate-you-to-lovers ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars: It's a pretty long title, but you get the point. Think kind of Romeo and Juliet with the Capulets and Montagues and their enmity. I LOVE this trope. I feel like it also gives the author a lot of room to add character development. For instance, Romeo and Juliet being in love also meant them questioning their family rivalry and deciding where they believed they stood in the midst of it all. It added an incredible amount of character development and strengthened their love for each other. I think this is definitely a trope that you see more in a dark fantasy or dark academia type of setting. I am actually kind of interested in reading any that fall out of those genres.


Friends to lovers:

The two characters start off as friends (Bonus points if they're best friends!) and are in a so-called platonic relationship. Except nothing about them is platonic! From accidentally brushing past each other to glances that are held for justt a second tooo longg... the tension between them is intense. Insert a bit of drama (Did I say a bit? I'm sorry about that... I meant a LOT) and a painstaking slow-burn, and they're finally lovers!


This trope is definitely less widespread than enemies-to-lovers, and I have no idea why. I think that it captures some of the same feelings and tensions as enemies-to-lovers and definitely deserves more recognition. A lot of middle-grade books have this trope (Percy Jackson and Harry Potter for example). I NEED it to be more incorporated into other genres as well like YA for example.


Sub-tropes for friends-to-lovers:


Best-friends-to-lovers ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars: When I think of friends-to-lovers, it's this specific trope that comes to mind. I mean, sure, it's cool if characters can go from in the friend zone to out of it, but I think that a book has so much more potential to be deeper if they start off as best friends. One of my favorite examples of this is The Dark Artifices by Cassandra Clare. The two characters have so many things keeping them apart in a romantic way, but so many things tying them together in a "friend" way that it's crazy to see everything just unravel and fall back into place. This trope literally has my heart. Not kidding at all.


We-used-to-be-friends-but-now-we're-not-to-lovers ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars: This one is a bit tougher to get into. I also imagine that it is a lot tougher for authors to write. Essentially, two characters used to be friends, but they had some sort of fallout (or maybe one just moved away), and they meet each other after many years. Books with this trope can be both deep and lighthearted. Either way, it's always interesting when there is some type of suspense to know what happened between the two that caused the fallout. It also paves the way for a friends-to-enemies-to-lovers between the two characters. (The crossover we didn't know we needed)


Analysis By Genre:

Now, obviously these tropes fall under the romance genre, but really, that's not enough to sum it all up. For example, you'll definitely see a lot more enemies-to-lovers in fantasy books. I'd say about 80% of the fantasy books I've read are enemies-to-lovers. In contrast, there are very few friends to lovers fantasy books. (But I'm going to recommend the ones I love down below!) If you have a preference for dark fantasy, then you are probably gonna like enemies-to-lovers. If you like fast-paced fantasy, there's probably gonna be more enemies-to-lovers on the shelf. But, if you're willing to sit out through a slowburn, then friends-to-lovers is definitely worth it. It is more common in the contemporary romance genre, but you can find it in fantasy or dystopian as well if you look hard enough. I have some of my favorite books from each trope and genre below.


The Verdict:

Ok. I'm going to keep this short. Personally, I like friends-to-lovers a lot. Yes, sometimes the slow burn is a little toooooo slow, but the end is such a reward. But if I'm being honest, I think that enemies-to-lovers takes the crown in terms of popularity among readers. I don't think that it is necessarily a favorite among people because it is the better trope (but hey, I could be biased!) but because there are just so many enemies-to-lovers books than friends to lovers. It also depends on genre and reader preferences which is why I made a list of some of my favorites from each genre. (I also have a TON of recommendations on my Tiktok account if you want to check it out!)


Enemies to Lovers recs:


Fantasy:

Dystopian:

No magic or futuristic stuff:


Friends to Lovers recs:


Fantasy:

  • The Dark Artifices - Cassandra Clare (best-friends-to-lovers... I'd recommend reading at least the mortal instruments series before reading this one)

  • Caraval - Stephanie Garber

  • Ash Princess - Laura Sebastian

Dystopian:

No magic or futuristic stuff:


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